I was once asked to describe what I do.  My answer was that I listen to people complain about each other.

That is really only part of what I do, but it is a significant part of my everyday experiences as a conflict coach.

And people ask me how I deal with all that negativity, all of those problems and all of that complaining.

The answer is simple. It’s not my stuff. It’s not about me.

My role is to shine a spotlight on the sore spot and help people work through their issues and understand why they feel so bad.  I help the parties to a dispute to understand what triggered the conflict in the first place.

I didn’t cause the dispute and I am not a party to the dispute. I am not batting for anyone in particular. I am just a guide for the parties. Nothing more. I help them to explore what is going on for them personally and to consider what might be going on for the other person.

I am an empathetic ear for everyone involved.

I believe whoever is talking to me because it is their truth in that moment.  I only ever start challenging a person’s beliefs once I have their trust; I never want to embarrass anyone by telling them that their truth is wrong.

And people always tell me that they feel better after they have had a good venting session and that they have been believed.

I love what I do. I love people and I love hearing their stories, their truths.