So I am back on the exercise horse. I have been getting up at stupid o’clock every day and doing some exercise – a run (with a lot of walking thrown in) or I go to the gym and use the most boring piece of equipment ever invented (the treadmill – which truly was created as a torture machine).  

I have generally just exercised on my own.  Set my own pace, pushed myself but only as hard as I decided to go.  I love being by myself. I love having some time in the morning to think, listen to podcasts and just prepare myself for the day. 

But recently I joined a group, the Grand Challenge, where a number of us have all put in a $150 each to go towards a prize of $1000 which will go to the person who loses the greatest percentage of body weight over a 12 week period.  We have also raised enough money that we have bought two memberships to a personal training program which we are sharing.  

So I went out to the group personal training session on Monday to go for a run.  Let me tell you – I was completely out of my comfort zone.  

I am not an athlete. I am also not very fit at the moment and I have a dodgy back and really annoying tight calves that over-react to running way too often. 

The rest of the small group was made up of a person who had just completed a half marathon, another full-on running enthusiast and another woman who had significantly more stamina than me.  

I felt terrible. I wanted to go home; to run on my own.  I couldn’t keep up and my calves hurt; really hurt. The PT was fantastic.  The group were incredibly supportive and they had a process whereby they did laps to ensure that everyone stayed together. No-one cared that I was slow but me. I cared a lot. 

I don’t like not being good at things. I am usually the person in the front of the room. I am usually the person who makes decisions and organises the troops.  I was out of my comfort zone and I felt like a burden. I hate being a burden. 

But it was my thinking that was the problem.  I was projecting my feelings of being a loser and an irritant on to everyone else in the group and that wasn’t fair. 

So I am going again this Thursday. I am going to keep going to these sessions and sit in my discomfort so that I can work on managing my unfair projections on to other people.

1 reply
  1. Kerri
    Kerri says:

    Well is hard to accept we are just human…and in ageing bodies sometimes ,as fitness challenges so often remind us. It is great the others are supportive and it is hard to let go and just go with the flow..well done and I look forward to hearing about how you go next week.


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