I am writing this in June 2019. I am feeling very sorry for myself. I am tired, bloated, short of breath and I have higher levels of stress than I have had in years.
I am also frustrated and disappointed in myself.
I have fallen off the wagon.
Not the alcohol wagon. I haven’t had a drink since 19 January 2014 but the health and fitness wagon. Life has been so crazy busy and/or stressful for the last few months that my early morning routine has gone to the dogs. As a result of not getting up early and going for a run, my eating habits have deteriorated and my sleep is all over the place. I feel slow and flabby and my energy levels have nose-dived.
I have also picked up a terrible cold and I constantly cough and sneeze and blow my nose and look terrible. Being a good self-employed martyr I have continued to work through ill health because apparently, you can’t take a day off.
So I am feeling very sorry for myself.
On the upside, I have finally taken myself off to see a psychologist. She’s great. I’m getting a deeper understanding of the issues that have dogged me forever and I am working out a plan of action to manage them in the long term.
I am sitting in my ill-health and accepting that I can’t do as much work or physical activity when I am sick. This situation is not forever and maybe it is a reminder that I need to take my own advice – you need to slow down to speed up.
I am actually in an exciting phase in my business and the horizon is looking pretty great. I just want to go fast. I like to go fast. I hate waiting.
But just right now I have to be kind to myself, give myself some space to get better and gently get back to rising at stupid o’clock and going for a run.