I am an elite athlete – NOT!  

According to all the health professionals who I need to see on a regular basis just to keep me upright, I have hyper-flexible joints or muscles or… something. I also have lazy glutes and a dodgy back. In fact I was told about 15 years ago that I would need surgery on my back one day because my back looked like it was about 20 years old than me. Impressive.  Oh and I have the tightest and possibly sorest calves in the land.

And because I got read the Riot Act by my doctor a few years ago who said I was going to die if I didn’t start looking after myself, I now exercise pretty much every day and put this poor troubled body to work.

In fact I run; very, very slowly. And then when I’m tired I walk. And I love it. Best time of the day.

But I still have this problem of very, very tight and sore calves.  I used to try and stretch them out to release the pressure and stop them aching but it didn’t work. Then one day I realised that every time I got a massage or saw my chiropractor they would apply firm pressure on my tight shoulder and neck muscles.  They didn’t try stretch those muscles, the just applied direct pressure.

Initially that pressure hurts a lot.  I have to breathe through the pain and then slowly but surely the muscle releases and the pain is gone.

So I started applying the same technique to my poor old calves and ta da – it works. I get far more relief in my calves by applying pressure. It hurts a heap when I first press my thumb into the sorest spot but then almost like magic the pain is gone.

And so it is with dealing with a conflict situation.  The greatest pain, the sorest spot is that moment just before the parties come together to have a “difficult” conversation.  In that moment before we rip off the bandaid there is so much fear and uncertainty. So many negative thoughts and concern that the other person will be proved right, that we are a bad person or worse still, a loser.

But once we move past that first initial discomfort and lay our pain and troubles on the table and we start exploring the issues and getting clarity, the pain starts to whittle away.  The wound might still be there. It might take a bit of time to heal. But the outcome is never as bad as people imagine it will be.

Focus on the trigger points. Apply pressure to the sore spots in your relationships and then enjoy the benefits of the release from the discomfort, the emotional pain and lack of certainty.


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